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He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know By Jessica Valenti ( Seal Press )
Release Date: 2008-05-01
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Product Description
Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time? Isn’t it unfair that working moms are labeled “bad” for focusing on their careers while we shake our heads in disbelief when we hear about the occasional stay-at-home dad?
In 50 Double Standards Every Woman Should Know, Jessica Valenti, author of Full Frontal Feminism, calls out the double standards that affect every woman. Whether Jessica is pointing out the wage earning discrepancies between men and women or revealing all of the places that women still aren’t equal to their male counterparts—be it in the workplace, courtroom, bedroom, or home—she maintains her signature wittily sarcastic tone. With sass, humor, and in-your-face facts, this book informs and equips women with the tools they need to combat sexist comments, topple ridiculous stereotypes (girls aren’t good at math?), and end the promotion of lame double standards.
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 Good information, needs better catchphrases
Valenti points out subtle and not-so-subtle double standards affecting the genders. Some of the information I already knew, and some of it didn't really match the catchy subheadings, but overall, a worthwhile book.
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 Simplistic and shallow male bashing
As a previous reviewer alluded to - men and women are biologically different. The sexual act will always have different significance for male and female and will always be interpreted and judged differently. It is a fundamental truth of anthropology that societies and their moral codes (or systems of behaviour), both animal and human, are built and structured around the competing sexual mating strategies of the male and female. If an act is likely to have differing consequences for men and women, it is not necessarily a 'double standard' to judge it differently according to gender.
Furthermore, the book assumes that it is the men 'with all the power' who are determining those 'double standards'. Actually, at least nowadays, it is women who accuse other women who sleep around or dress provocatively of being sluts far more than men do. Go to YouTube and type in 'sexy dance' and check the number of times that females make 'dirty slut' comments and compare them to the flattering (if crude) comments made by the guys. For men, the word 'slut' used to describe a woman is now almost a synonym of 'hot', whereas when employed by other women, it is a vicious and spiteful act of moral condemnation.
To be fair, the author almost seems able to grasp an intelligent point when discussing the double standard of sensitive men being called sissies, but tries to turn even that into a self-pitying rant against the demonic male. Unfortunately, it was women who would gleefully daub the houses of the disabled men and the conscientous objectors during the first world war with yellow paint. It is the grotesque sexual fetishisation of male aggression that is feeding the increasingly animalistic and violent urban culture of our young males and that in the once peaceful United Kingdom is leading to teenage boys stabbing each other to death on a near daily basis.
I'm sure I could list a far greater number of sexual 'double standards' that work out much more in favour of women than men. A male teacher who has sex with a female pupil is a child molestor who has defiled the girl and deserves a life time of hell in prison. A female teacher who has sex with a male pupil is a 'Sexy Mrs' who has initiated the young man into the world of sex and there is media outrage if she recieves the same jail sentence as a male would. Third world prostitution is a stick feminists use to beat the original sin out of Western men, naturally remaining silent to the thousands of wealthy white women who flock to the Carribean islands to exploit and abuse the poverty stricken 'rent-a-rasta' black male prostitutes (hell there was even a romantic chick flick made about it recently). I could go on - even the supposed double standard of the book's title is rather anachronistic. Women who sleep around are now sexually liberated women whereas promiscuous men are 'users' and sexual predators at risk from false date rape allegations.
The simple-minded flaw in Valenti's argument is the belief that if you remove sexual 'double standards' it follows that you will have a morally fair and equitable sexual code of conduct. Again, if men and women are biologically disposed to find happiness through different (and sometimes competing) sexual behaviours and needs, then gender blind moral codes will invariably punish one sex more than the other. And when feminists like Valenti now have near complete political power to write the sexual rulebook, no prizes for guessing which gender is going to come off the worse.
Perhaps some kind of compromise will be the best we can hope for, even if it leads to the lowest common denominator that possibly Islamic Sharia Law represents. But at least it can be said that when males invent moral codes they tend to do so looking up at the stars. When feminists make moral pronouncements they seem unable to look up from their wombs.
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 What's wrong with keeping virginity?
I just read the first few pages and my question is this: what's wrong with keeping and valuing our virginity? This practice was done for centuries and now all of a sudden, it's taboo, or unacceptable for a young woman to NOT sleep with anyone.
I have 2 children, a daughter-4, and a son-2. I will be taking my children to purity balls (as mentioned) and integrity balls. The author mentioned the double standard of having young girls pure an men go learn integrity. This is like feeding a cat dog food- you give what is proper and understandable for the child. If my son gets the "integrity" concept over "purity" why wouldn't I teach him that?
The reading does have a certain "snappiness" and it is mildly captivating, I just find it very one-sided and full of the author's opinion, and this was in the first few pages. Personally, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone trying to have or teach morals. This book isn't about the double standard of being called a slut, it's about freedom to do what you want with no repercussion, and that's not real.
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 A hilarious initroduction
And people say feminists don't have a sense of humor!
In this quick read, Jessica Valenti manages to bring up 50 arguments that any girl or woman has, and any boy or man should have, considered. From the funny (wondering why only women are required to shave armpits and legs) to the painfully serious (like societal double-standards being used to tolerate or condone violence against women), every point is more than valid. This is a great book for people who already identify as feminists (it's a nice break from dense theory!) or wouldn't touch "the F word" with a ten foot pole, since it's not so much a radical agenda pusher as a "Hey dudes, what's up with THAT?" eye-opener.
Hopefully this book will show people who rarely think about gender issues how much further we still need to go toward equality, and get non-politicized people more involved in what they read, think, say and how they act.
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 Thought-provoking ideas, but falls short at times.
I honestly enjoyed this book. Having read Valenti's other publication, Full Frontal Feminism, I must say that I enjoy her easy-to-read way of writing. It's a good way to introduce new generations to feminism, with her sassy wording and fun, talkative mannerisms. Not to mention, the book really made me think. It had never occurred to me that there was a double-standard about stalking in relationships, so that was probably my favorite section.
However, some of the writing, at times, left something to be desired. I think the final part of each section, which told the reader what they can do if they were come upon such double-standards, really could have been left out. A majority of the time it was just the same answer ("uh... just be aware that the double-standard exists, I guess?") and it really seemed to dumb down the general atmosphere of the book. It really took away from the reading experience for me, and I finished the book wishing those parts hadn't made Jessica sound so much less intelligent than she really is.
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